When trust that appeared as unshakeable is shattered, there's a tendency to want to even the score. Since the opportunity for retribution is often hard to come by, we might pivot to attempting to 'live our best life'. Whether through curated social media posts or some other public display of our happy success, the aim is to show the world we are unaffected by the pain of betrayal. This may work for a moment or two; at least until that final 'like' is clicked or the last pat on our back is given. These are tiny little band-aids that do next to nothing to staunch the source of our sadness.
In this season of tremendous change in my life, I have lost my zest for revenge anyway. In part because I know it won't make me feel better, but mostly because I don't have it in me. Tending to my grief takes energy leaving none for cultivating a stylized, amazing image of being happy all the time.
Though feeling at ease with myself and the world remains elusive, what miraculously has lingered is my capacity for love. Therefore, my 'revenge' is that the underpinnings of my heart are intact despite what has happened to me. Losing my dad, ending relationships, sending my oldest to college, and an uncertain future have been difficult but not impossible. I still wake up every day and love my people and my dogs with the whole of my soul.
I love therefore I am.
I still even love the people that have hurt me and I'm pretty certain I always will.
We are not all good or all bad. We are complicated. Hurt moves in both directions. This complexity is worth loving someone through even if it has to be done at a distance.
Revenge is sweet, but love is profound.
May this love guide us all through tomorrow; though uncertain still miraculous.
Inward & Onward,
Agree - the energy required to "get even", in my life, resulted in further damaging those relationships I wanted to mend (or at least not make worse). Choosing a loving path has helped me be more self-aware although far from perfect (that's for sure, smile). Hugs!
And perhaps that is the real takeaway—-and the greatest of all is Love - because it does make it possible ❤️