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Healthy Relationships: How to know if You Have them

Lately, in my head, where honestly I spend about 90% of my focused attention, I've been trying to reconcile some confounding relationships. I've been wondering if I'm expecting too much or if I'm not setting good boundaries. Any way I look at these relationships, I'm left with a question mark wondering if they are loving and healthy.

Then it struck me, if a relationship is loving and healthy, I wouldn't be investing so much time into wondering if it actually is.

With my husband for instance, if we fall into conflict and my feelings get hurt I may pause for a day or two, but all I have to do is look at the whole of the relationship and know we are solid. He has shown up for me in so many ways and always treads gently around my quirks and needs, I know without a doubt he loves me.

No question.

Of course with new friendships and relationships it makes sense to have a 'grace period'. You have to allow enough time to let the dynamic unfold and see if it is worth your continued investment. But for the ones that have been around a while, I promise you, if you are questioning whether a relationship is healthy for you on repeat, then you have your answer.

People who care about you do not think you are asking too much of them. They take the time to understand the why behind your behaviors and therefore can offer you compassion instead of judgment. Even if they don't have the same perspective as you, they love you and respect you so much that it makes it easy to 'agree to disagree'.

People who love you celebrate you. They show up for you. They help carry the load when your heart is battered and bruised.

It's all about care and consistency and not everyone will get the immense privilege of being in your life.

But for the ones who get it, who see you and unconditionally love you, hold them close. If you haven't yet found them, that's okay, too.

Walking on our own is how we learn who-we-really-are.




Thank you for being you.

Inward & Onward,

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