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Healthy Relationships: How to know if You Have them

Lately, in my head, where honestly I spend about 90% of my focused attention, I've been trying to reconcile some confounding relationships. I've been wondering if I'm expecting too much or if I'm not setting good boundaries. Any way I look at these relationships, I'm left with a question mark wondering if they are loving and healthy.

Then it struck me, if a relationship is loving and healthy, I wouldn't be investing so much time into wondering if it actually is.

With my husband for instance, if we fall into conflict and my feelings get hurt I may pause for a day or two, but all I have to do is look at the whole of the relationship and know we are solid. He has shown up for me in so many ways and always treads gently around my quirks and needs, I know without a doubt he loves me.

No question.

Of course with new friendships and relationships it makes sense to have a 'grace period'. You have to allow enough time to let the dynamic unfold and see if it is worth your continued investment. But for the ones that have been around a while, I promise you, if you are questioning whether a relationship is healthy for you on repeat, then you have your answer.

People who care about you do not think you are asking too much of them. They take the time to understand the why behind your behaviors and therefore can offer you compassion instead of judgment. Even if they don't have the same perspective as you, they love you and respect you so much that it makes it easy to 'agree to disagree'.

People who love you celebrate you. They show up for you. They help carry the load when your heart is battered and bruised.

It's all about care and consistency and not everyone will get the immense privilege of being in your life.

But for the ones who get it, who see you and unconditionally love you, hold them close. If you haven't yet found them, that's okay, too.

Walking on our own is how we learn who-we-really-are.




Thank you for being you.

Inward & Onward,

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Thank you for reading!


Jan 16, 2023

Always enjoy your weekly blogs and I must say on a side note that jacket is all YOU& I absolutely love it! 🤩 I must say you are also one of the only people who can have my brother show his teeth when he smiles…ok the boys too 🥰

Diana DeVaul
Jan 17, 2023
Replying to

Thank you for reading and commenting! The jacket…Amazon…I’ll text you the link. You are right about John, his genuine smiles for photos are rare, Buckeye victories help!!💕😎


Jan 16, 2023

Diana...sooo well stated. In this age of divisiveness based upon politics and other beliefs, you know you have really good friends when they stop, listen, and acknowledge how your points are valid -- even if they do not proscribe to a similar paradigm. Thank you for keeping us on a great path for 2023. Scott

Diana DeVaul
Jan 17, 2023
Replying to

It has taken me a long time to understand that healthy relationships start with ME. As my compassion for myself grows, my relationships reflect this more and more. Unconditional acceptance flows both ways…a beautiful thing. Hope you have a good week❤️

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